WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS DRAMATIZATIONS OF REAL LIFE EVENTS!
Before moving to Pennsylvania I had never encountered a stink bug before.
The brown marmorated stink bug is an invader and was not previously a resident of North America. It was apparently accidentally introduced into eastern Pennsylvania, probably from a shipment from East Asia. It was first collected in September of 1998 in Allentown, but probably arrived several years earlier as far as scientists can tell.
Since then a stink bug army has been spreading outwards from there. It was this Autumn that I found out the stink bugs were trying to find a place hibernate for the winter—IN MY APARTMENT!
I thought I was safe by spraying Raid ® for flying insects around the perimeter of my big bay window that leads to my porch. I wanted to leave it open for some fresh air.
I was wrong! I was attacked by a stink bug who crawled inside somehow when I wasn’t looking.
I attacked with the can of Raid ® thinking it would die once I sprayed it with enough raid to kill me had I been sprayed that much. The stink bug just crawled around stinking of Raid ® and stink bug stink (It’s reminiscent of sweaty feet!). Then it disappeared while I was looking at it. (Okay, maybe I looked away for a split second.)
At first I thought the praying mantis had taken care of things.
If only I had known how wrong I was. I felt something prickly and realized it was on my back! This resulted in a lot of thrashing around that finally ended like this:
With the stink bug defeated I was feeling very smug and like I could take on anything!
So, I broke one of the number one rules of fighting, warriorhood, and horror movies: I promptly went to sleep.
I woke up clawing imaginary stink bugs off me after dreaming they were going to erupt from me like the chest-busters from that movie Aliens.
I looked up to see a group of stink bugs sitting on the outside of the closed window to the porch. (I secretly …or not so secretly…think they may have projected the dream directly into my mind.) Yep, the stink bugs didn’t invade my apartment (not well at least), but they did invade my dreams. Psychological warfare. This has resulted in me going out prepared for full stink bug assault.
Now, I just have to fight off enough of the stink bug army until they all hibernate in the winter. Although, this means nightly patrols of the air conditioning vents, I consider myself prepared…